Category: Blog Hop
30
May
2015

MM Memorial Day Scavenger Hunt Blog Hop

Posted in: Blog Hop

While Memorial Day was a few days ago, the scavenger hunt continues for a few more days. Are you collecting all of the words for the phrase? You can see all of the blogs included down below so check out each one for the words to solve the phrase. Many of the stops have their own giveaways as well so you should check them out to see all of the fabulous prizes you can win. You can see the full list of prizes for the scavenger hunt listed here and holy moly, fabulous prizes galore! I’m also including a prize you can win here on my blog so the details for that are below too. Good luck and happy hunting!

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17
May
2015

Tagged:

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Hop Against Homophobia, Bi and Transphobia 2015; How To Not Be A Judgmental B

Posted in: Blog Hop

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia. I’m very excited to take part in the event this year. Further down you’ll find information on others taking part of the Blog Hop. At the very bottom there’s also a giveaway for a copy of my book The Adventures of Cole and Perry.

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01
Apr
2015

World Autism Awareness Day

Posted in: Blog Hop

Right now, April 2, 2015  midnight GMT, starts World Autism Awareness Day. Today I’m taking part in RJ Scott’s annual World Autism Awareness Day blog hop. You can check out all of the other posts at the main page here. While I have a giveaway at the bottom of the page with details on how you can enter to win a copy of “The Adventures of Cole and Perry”, I thought I’d give a writing update along with some important information about Autism.

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08
Jul
2014

BDSM Blog Hop | Because BDSM Isn’t Violent Or Abusive

Posted in: Blog Hop

A few months back I saw a post scroll by in my Facebook feed that I had to go back and make sure I read correctly. Apparently there was a group that was pushing their beliefs that anyone that lived some variation of a BDSM lifestyle was in a violent and abusive relationship. Grace R. Duncan posted a link to the survey they had created that was so clearly biased it was laughable. Well, it would have been if it weren’t such a horrible viewpoint to have. Of course I went to the survey and let them know, in the nicest way I could, where they could shove their assumptions that someone that enjoys having pain with their pleasure is being abused. Or any other variation of the BDSM and Kink community there is. That’s one of the best parts of that community. That there is truly nothing WRONG with the way you play. Sure, I may not get pleasure from someone else’s ideas of kinky. But as long as they are playing by three main tenants of Safe, Sane, and Consensual, then no one will tell them it’s wrong.

I don’t normally talk about my personal life and never my past. But because it’s relevant, I will just this once. The reason that I got more steamed about the situation is because I’ve been in a violent and abusive relationship before and BDSM had absolutely nothing to do with it. All of the scars from that relationship are sadly internal ones. The worst part of all is that he never laid a finger on me. Does that make the relationship any less abusive or violent? Some say yes, some say no. For me, it’s that much harder to bear because I wasn’t the stereotypical abused girlfriend saying she got a black eye by falling into a closed door.

Back to how BDSM plays into all of this. I stayed with him for as long as I did because of the way certain things (birds, bees, sex and love) were explained to me when I was a teenager. There was nothing wrong with how it was explained. Nothing wrong with how I felt at the time. But once I was with him it became that much harder for me to get out because of that. Also because I was still learning about my own sexuality at the time and didn’t fully understand sex and everything that went along with it.

I came to learn later in life that I am submissive. I dare anyone to tell me that I’m weak and see how fast you fall on ass, bless your little heart. At the time of getting out of the relationship though I wasn’t ready to accept all of that about myself. The word was used in a passing conversation I had with someone I knew at the time and I immediately shut them down because I wasn’t weak and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let someone hit me, especially after the way I had just been treated when NOT physically hurt.

Of course in the deepest part of my mind back then some of those words and ideas stuck with me since I had learned some of what DIDN’T work in sex during that horrible first foray into it. However I didn’t learn until much later in life what submission and domination, plus the other aspects of BDSM and kink were all about. Boy did that change my life for the better.

Once I understood what it was all about, did some actual research into the topic and met people that were already in the lifestyle, it’s like a light bulb went off inside. That piece that was missing was there all along, I just had to figure it out on my own.

So, if you are in an abusive relationship, please find a way out and find the help you need. If you are in a BDSM relationship, then I am glad that you have found what you are looking for. If you are what I lovingly refer to as “vanilla”, again I am glad you have found what you are looking for. But just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it abusive, or violent.

I’d like to thank Grace R. Duncan for setting up this amazing blog hop. Also Vicktor Alexander for sort of pushing her into doing it (in the most loving way possible of course). Be sure to check out the other posts on the tour. You can see all of the links for the rest of the hop at the hop landing page here. There are tons participating in this amazing hop so read more and learn about some of the different aspects of BDSM.