Month: July 2014
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08
Jul
2014

BDSM Blog Hop | Because BDSM Isn’t Violent Or Abusive

Posted in: Blog Hop

A few months back I saw a post scroll by in my Facebook feed that I had to go back and make sure I read correctly. Apparently there was a group that was pushing their beliefs that anyone that lived some variation of a BDSM lifestyle was in a violent and abusive relationship. Grace R. Duncan posted a link to the survey they had created that was so clearly biased it was laughable. Well, it would have been if it weren’t such a horrible viewpoint to have. Of course I went to the survey and let them know, in the nicest way I could, where they could shove their assumptions that someone that enjoys having pain with their pleasure is being abused. Or any other variation of the BDSM and Kink community there is. That’s one of the best parts of that community. That there is truly nothing WRONG with the way you play. Sure, I may not get pleasure from someone else’s ideas of kinky. But as long as they are playing by three main tenants of Safe, Sane, and Consensual, then no one will tell them it’s wrong.

I don’t normally talk about my personal life and never my past. But because it’s relevant, I will just this once. The reason that I got more steamed about the situation is because I’ve been in a violent and abusive relationship before and BDSM had absolutely nothing to do with it. All of the scars from that relationship are sadly internal ones. The worst part of all is that he never laid a finger on me. Does that make the relationship any less abusive or violent? Some say yes, some say no. For me, it’s that much harder to bear because I wasn’t the stereotypical abused girlfriend saying she got a black eye by falling into a closed door.

Back to how BDSM plays into all of this. I stayed with him for as long as I did because of the way certain things (birds, bees, sex and love) were explained to me when I was a teenager. There was nothing wrong with how it was explained. Nothing wrong with how I felt at the time. But once I was with him it became that much harder for me to get out because of that. Also because I was still learning about my own sexuality at the time and didn’t fully understand sex and everything that went along with it.

I came to learn later in life that I am submissive. I dare anyone to tell me that I’m weak and see how fast you fall on ass, bless your little heart. At the time of getting out of the relationship though I wasn’t ready to accept all of that about myself. The word was used in a passing conversation I had with someone I knew at the time and I immediately shut them down because I wasn’t weak and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let someone hit me, especially after the way I had just been treated when NOT physically hurt.

Of course in the deepest part of my mind back then some of those words and ideas stuck with me since I had learned some of what DIDN’T work in sex during that horrible first foray into it. However I didn’t learn until much later in life what submission and domination, plus the other aspects of BDSM and kink were all about. Boy did that change my life for the better.

Once I understood what it was all about, did some actual research into the topic and met people that were already in the lifestyle, it’s like a light bulb went off inside. That piece that was missing was there all along, I just had to figure it out on my own.

So, if you are in an abusive relationship, please find a way out and find the help you need. If you are in a BDSM relationship, then I am glad that you have found what you are looking for. If you are what I lovingly refer to as “vanilla”, again I am glad you have found what you are looking for. But just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it abusive, or violent.

I’d like to thank Grace R. Duncan for setting up this amazing blog hop. Also Vicktor Alexander for sort of pushing her into doing it (in the most loving way possible of course). Be sure to check out the other posts on the tour. You can see all of the links for the rest of the hop at the hop landing page here. There are tons participating in this amazing hop so read more and learn about some of the different aspects of BDSM.

 

07
Jul
2014

Jackie Nacht’s Full Moon Torn

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be a part of this book blast. I’m such a Jackie Nacht fangirl. Plus this series, the Moon Compound series, is so good. If you missed the earlier tour of hers (and a fun interview too), you should check it out here. If you haven’t read Full Moon Torn yet, I suggest you do because it is an AMAZING book! Below you can read all of the information about this book, plus read an excerpt that’s going to make you want the book right now! At the very bottom you can enter to win one of two copies of your choice of Jackie’s books, or a $25 Amazon gift card.

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04
Jul
2014

Eric Thornton’s Absolute

The cover of Eric Thornton’s book Absolute just makes me want to take a vacation somewhere nice and warm and read a book. Of course I wouldn’t be opposed to that book being his book since it takes place at a nice beach-y location. Today I get the pleasure of interviewing Eric, even though it sadly wasn’t at a tropical location. Below the interview you can get all of the details about the book and read an excerpt that I know you’ll want to read. At the very bottom is a giveaway for an e-copy of the book.

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03
Jul
2014

Eden Winters’ Diversion Cover Reveal

I can’t wait for y’all to see this cover. It isn’t your typical sexy cover which can be nice. In this case, it definitely works. If you haven’t had a chance to read something by Eden Winters, I suggest that you do because she is a wonderful author. I’ve enjoyed the books of hers that I’ve read so far. Her newest book Diversion sounds like an amazing book. Below the cover, you can see all the details plus an excerpt that made me want to get the book now. At the very bottom you can enter to win an e-copy of the book. Without further ado, I give you Diversion by Eden Winters.

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02
Jul
2014

Avril Ashton’s So Far Gone Cover Reveal

Posted in: Cover Reveal

I can’t even tell you guys how excited I am to have Avril Ashton on my blog today. I screamed out loud like the fangirl I am! She is here to reveal the cover of her amazing book So Far Gone that releases August 1st. The cover is absolutely beautiful. I know you’ll like it as much as I did. Below you’ll also get the excerpt for this book and it made me want to read it right away. Without further ado, I give you So Far Gone by Avril Ashton.

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01
Jul
2014

Havan Fellows’ Hidden Needs

I am excited to have Havan Fellows here today. I’m a fan of Havan’s work and this book, Hidden Needs, is wonderful! Y’all know I love BDSM books and this one was so good. If you haven’t read it yet I recommend that you do. Below you can read all of the details about the book plus an excerpt that will whet your appetite. At the very bottom you can enter the giveaway for a copy of the book and a book from Havan’s backlist.

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