Hop Against Homophobia, Bi and Transphobia 2015; How To Not Be A Judgmental B
Today is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia. I’m very excited to take part in the event this year. Further down you’ll find information on others taking part of the Blog Hop. At the very bottom there’s also a giveaway for a copy of my book The Adventures of Cole and Perry.
While it should be obvious from the content of my website, the books I promote, and what I write, but I do not tolerate any kind of hate or disrespect of others here. However, saying that and living that can be difficult sometimes. We all tend to get a little judgey in our heads. But how you let it out defines whether you have good intentions and if you’re a judgmental B.
We can say that we’re not homophobic, transphobic, or anything like that. But as human we have thoughts that go through our heads with regularity that aren’t very nice. Raise your hand if you’ve judged someone you didn’t know. Raise your hand if you’ve thought something negative about someone you DO know. If your hand’s not up then I call BS. Everyone has judged others in their head at some point. Most of the time it’s pretty harmless things we think.
“Wow, that person should NOT be wearing that outfit?”
“Keep your kid under control!”
Sure we may not say them out loud, but usually our faces will tell what we think. Even if you’re the lucky few that has a fabulous poker face, you still think those things. However, sometimes they’re not harmless, even if we don’t intend to hurt.
“What do mean he’s a she?”
“He can’t be bi. He’s just confused and needs to pick one.”
When we think any of these things, we’re being humans. But saying them out loud not only makes us an asshole, it also shows how narrow minded we are, and that we are actually homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic.
The two main reasons we judge others is because we want to make ourselves feel better about our flaws, and because we don’t understand. The first one can only be solved on your own. The second can be fixed with education.
It’s completely ok to not understand something, to not have enough information, and to realize you’re wrong about your assumptions. But you definitely need to ask questions in a non judgmental way. What comes out of your mouth cannot be put back in. Even an apology doesn’t erase the words. Just the intent behind them. Some ways to ask without the judgement are:
“Can you explain what it means to be transgendered? I don’t fully understand and want to know more.”
“What are some of the struggles you’ve faced after coming out as bi and how can I help prevent them in the future?”
Of course there’s also Google where you can put your questions in as rude as you want. But when you’re talking to someone, be aware of your words. You don’t know what someone else is dealing with and your careless judgement may be the last straw for them. It’s ok to be human. Just try to be human without being a B.
Check Out The Hop:
With the hop, you are able to enter to win prizes at every stop. Here on my blog I’m giving away a copy of my book The Adventures of Cole and Perry. To enter leave a comment on the post letting me know a time when you were a judgmental B in your head. But also how you’ve worked hard to not let those thoughts out of your mouth. Don’t forget to include your email so I can contact you for the prize. Contest will end on May 31 at noon Eastern. The hop goes through the 24th but it’s something we should talk about all the time, not just one week a year.